2012, so far...

 Here's how our apartment is looking post-Christmas. I thought it would look all sad and depressing (as homes usually do after the Holidays- to me, anyway)... but we got a lot of cool stuff to make up for lack of Christmas decor. 

 (Quilt and Shams from West Elm that I'm in love love love with.)

 I've attempted to kennel my dog, since we just got our carpets cleaned. It's not working out so well, she screams bloody murder the whole time she's in there (even though I made it super comfortable and our cat voluntarily sleeps in there on the regular). I have NEVER heard her yelp like she does when she's in there. We're seriously thinking about puppy Prozac. At first I thought she was just really spoiled- but now it seems like she's got major separation anxiety issues. Every time we get home, she greats us like we've just come back from a long vacation- it's weird. Also, she won't walk on grass anymore. Refuses. These may seem like silly problems to a lot of people, but I love my four-legged babies and don't want any of them to be unhappy.

I've been organizing all of the wedding stuff we've got so far. We're almost done with our Save-the-Dates (just waiting on some pictures from Shutterfly and we're done). It's a great distraction from some bad news* I received a week and a half ago. I love to organize, and the fact that it's my WEDDING makes it SO much fun. So far I think we'll be able to stay in our budget (not that we really have one set- but we're trying to keep everything as simple and inexpensive as possible. I think stressing out over money and details is silly- I just want to be married, and celebrating it with our family and friends will be lovely- but I think going over the top is a waste of time and energy).

 Wedding Binder

 Here's a quick recipe. It's January and I'm sure a lot of us are watching our figures (me especially- my wedding dress is WAY too small... I have a lot of work to do), and this is a low-fat, simple recipe that tastes richer than it is. (The pictures are from yesterday when I made it for a party- I'll give the ingredients for a smaller portion.) My friend Hilary named it "Strawberry Bliss In My Mouth"... lol.

- 1 carton of strawberries
- 1 regular sized (I think 8 oz?) tub of whipped topping (I use fat-free)
- 3 cups of lemon yogurt (I use 99% fat free)
- 1 Angel Food Cake (I buy it pre-made from the grocery store, but I'm sure making your own would taste better, you can also use Pound Cake- but that's extra calories and fat)
(and this last batch wasn't quite as lemony as I wanted- so I added the juice from 2 lemons mixed w/ 2 tbsp of sugar)

Cut Angel Food into bite-sized cubes. Mix whipped topping and yogurt together. Cut up strawberries. And, you're done. You can make it pretty and layer it like a trifle or mix it all together- tastes great both ways.

*So, my year started off pretty crappy. I'm going to try to be open about all of this (even though it's painful), because it's great for me to hear advice from women who have gone or are going through the same thing. 

I had been cramping really badly (so badly that I was on painkillers and in bed with a heating pad for most of December and beginning of January) and I just didn't feel right. My doctor scheduled a diagnostic surgery on January 11th to go in and look to see if I had endometriosis. And, I do. She removed some lesions and other infected tissue, so I should be feeling better as soon as I'm all healed up. I won't go into all of the gory details of my surgery- I will say that it's been less painful than having my gallbladder taken out. At my pre-op appointment, she asked me if I wanted her to run dye through my fallopian tubes- and I said "Sure, why not?"... not really thinking anything of it. (I had a healthy fear of infertility, but was feeling good about this procedure.) Well, they're blocked. I assume with scar tissue, but I haven't had my follow-up appointment with her (it's this coming Friday)... and she had to leave while I was still asleep- so all the information about my surgery was given to Bill and my Mom to give to me (s.h.i.t.t.y.). 

From what I understand, I have three options (and I think I will be trying them in this order): 

1) Attempt to unblock my tubes. My Doctor didn't do this because it's not her area of expertise and I'll need to find a specialist. (I assume she'll be able to recommend one when I see her on Friday.) Again, I'm not 100% positive that it's scar tissue... but, I'll go ahead and say I'm 99% positive, lol. OF COURSE I've been Googling all of this stuff- and it'll be the death of me. Reading statistics before you've even spoken to your OBGYN or specialist is dumb. But, I've done it- and the statistics of this being a successful operation are scary.

2) In Vitro Fertilization. My uterus and ovaries look great, so if another surgery doesn't help- IVF is an option. I'm trying not to think a lot about it. It's definitely a last resort.

3) Adoption. There are SO many children in this world that need loving parents, and we would LOVE to adopt a child. I had thought about adoption even before I knew any of this- it's something that pulls at my heart. No matter what, we want to be parents... and though I look forward to being pregnant and giving birth to a baby- it's something I could live without if it's not in the cards. 

(Boo.)

Sooo, yeah. That's what's going on. I'm trying (and so far succeeding) to focus on happy things- the fact that I have great insurance that will cover a large portion of infertility treatments, that my life is really pretty great and this is just a set back in the grand scheme of things and that I get to plan a wedding celebration and marry the most loving and supportive man I've ever known. Yay. It's been a bittersweet year thus far. I'm looking forward to more sweet and less bitter, though. ;)